I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
