I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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