so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
