I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
