Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
