Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
