I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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