If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
