if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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