how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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