Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
