So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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