ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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