In the future we'll all be gay
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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