drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
