how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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