my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
