You made me cry and you don't even care
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
