So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
