Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is the high leading the old right now
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
