I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
