Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
