is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
