Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
