I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
