a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
