therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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