shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
