well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
