Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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