I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
