i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
