toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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