As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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