Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize