He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
