once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
