My friends, they love my intelligence
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
