My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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