just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
