Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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