so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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