Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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