I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
