That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
