just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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