I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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