Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
