We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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