shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
