Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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