I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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