I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
