whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
