there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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