just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
accomplished twins. life is a go
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
