i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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