we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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