Do vagina's smell?
I'm passing your future prison.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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