Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize