I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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