I want to make a zoo with you.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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