She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
