I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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