Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
so much tequila, so little girl.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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