She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
