Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can I color on your dick again?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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