So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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