That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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