You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
