smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
